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Divorce and the Holidays

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Isn’t it amazing that months before a holiday occurs, holiday ‘cheer’ can be seen almost everywhere you turn.  It is practically impossible to walk through a store without seeing holiday spirit and at every turn cozy families are seen celebrating on commercials.  In truth, holidays are a happy occasion for most people, but not for everyone.

 

Newly divorced and separating families often find the holidays a time of sadness and loneliness.  When children are involved, the holidays can be even more difficult as families learn to share their children during the holidays.  This may seem like a tall order for some, but there is hope.  You can survive the holidays and even make it enjoyable for your family.

 

One of the first steps you need to take is to evaluate what your needs are for the holiday.  Do you want to be with friends, with family or by yourself?   Commercialism may have something by beginning to advertise early on.  It may benefit you, your children and your family to decide early on how the holidays will be spent.  Planning early on allows everyone involved a chance to be accustomed to the new way holidays will be divided and allows all parties time to establish new plans for the holiday.  Be in charge of your plans and be open to starting new traditions.

 

It is also important that you take care of yourself.  Sleep and eat regularly, take time to exercise or just take a brisk walk.  Avoid overindulging in alcohol, food or overspending, as this will enhance feelings of sadness and guilt.  Surround yourself with people who are positive and encouraging instead of people who continually talk about your ex and the divorce.  If needed, consult professional help.

 

If children are involved, attempt to make the transition as simple as possible. They are already struggling and holidays will be more difficult for them then they will be for their parents.  Some divorced couples are at a place in their relationship that spending the holidays together is an option.  For others, it is a matter of give and take, based on what is best for the children.  Deciding these things early on will help you during the rush of the holiday season.  Be realistic in the knowing that things will not be as they were a year before.  Don’t trap yourself into overindulging your children to make up for their loss.  Now is the time to concentrate on being together and creating new ways of sharing the holidays.  If you can’t be with your children, send letters, e-mails and pick up the phone…anything to keep you in touch.

 

However you choose to make your holiday’s more bearable, think and choose wisely.  With each passing day, week and month, life as a divorced individual does get easier. 

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